By Rev. Fr. Wilfred Epie Emeh*
Growing up in a religiously diverse family where each member has unflinching allegiance to their religious beliefs could be a mixed blessing. I am 21 years a priest, and my mother is 11 years a Catholic. As I look back on the religious dynamics in our family when I was young, I can glean several significant lessons from our story, such as how my mother, a staunch Presbyterian, converted to Catholicism after fifty years of dedicated service to the Presbyterian community. Shortly before my ordination, some of her Catholic friends and my Bishop encouraged her to reflect on the moment’s weight and to consider becoming one in faith with her would-be priest-son, but it didn’t move her. In hindsight, I should have told them to spare their energy because I knew my mom was a die-hard Presbyterian.
Without a doubt, our upbringing shapes our spiritual and religious worldview. My mom was raised in a profoundly Presbyterian family. Her father was a pastor and mentor, and I would later understand my mom’s unalloyed dedication to the Presbyterian denomination. She steadily advanced in the ecclesiastical ranks as she intermittently held several positions of responsibility, such as elder and preacher, chair lady of her congregation, president of Christian Women Fellowship (CWF), and much more.
While my mom’s devotion to the Presbyterian faith was indomitable, I grew up Catholic after my father, whose profound affiliation with the Catholic Church was equally unquestionable. This was all the more so because a missionary priest, Rev. Francis Woodman, took him in and raised him after his father died. With encouragement and inspiration from Fr. Woodman, my father enrolled in the Holy Family Seminary in St Joseph’s College, Sasse, but later left to pursue a secular career.
My mother demonstrated her devotion as a Presbyterian faithful in several ways. I deeply admired her yearly Bible studies retreat, after which she would share meaningful biblical lessons with me. The depth and breadth of her memorized verses were astonishing. I loved it whenever she expressed biblical lessons in short songs. Bible studies were central to all the activities of the Presbyterian women’s group for which she was president. This was indeed an admirable practice that I wish the Catholic women’s group could emulate.
As a teenager, I would never, in my wildest dreams, have imagined a day that my mom would leave the Presbyterian church, particularly given her enormous responsibilities, upbringing, and friendships forged over fifty years. We lived happily, respecting each other’s religious views and beliefs and enjoying together what we shared in common. Even when she asked questions about the Catholic faith, I recall her goal was to learn and not find fault. It was for the same purpose when I would ask her about the Presbyterian faith.
I vividly recall when my mom invited me to the Presbyterian church for her Thanksgiving service. I was amazed that the Apostle’s Creed we recited was the same as the Catholics’. We profess the creed: “I believe in the Holy Catholic Church.” Aha! This was sufficient justification to launch a tirade of questions about her Christian beliefs. So, as soon as we got home, I asked: Mama, why do you guys profess faith in the Catholic church, yet you don’t want to join the church? She responded that “catholic” in the creed meant universal assembly, which differed from the Roman Catholic church. I objected, saying the Roman Catholic Church alone has the marks of the true church because Christ founded it. It is One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic, as stated in the Nicene Creed. I emphasized that “Catholic” meant universal, and our church is the universal Christian assembly to which the creed refers. I also explained that we had one visible head, Pope John Paul II, the 264th successor of St. Peter, and the church has been faithful to the apostles’ teachings and traditions for over 2000 years. My arguments were futile. Nothing changed, and life continued amicably.
The first time our ecumenical differences struck a chord was when I announced my intention to pursue the priestly vocation. At first, my mom didn’t believe me. She presumed I just wanted to have a boarding school experience in high school since my decision meant I had to enroll in the seminary high school. Then, in a typical African custom, it was concerning to my mom that her first son wouldn’t bear her grandchildren because of the priestly vow of celibacy. On my part, I was distraught to imagine that my mother would not receive Holy Communion from me should I become a priest. This disturbing awareness caused me to pray, especially after my ordination, that my mom would someday join the Catholic Church.
I was ordained on April 15, 2004, and it deeply troubled me that my mom would not receive the Eucharist from my freshly anointed hands at that momentous event. Since I felt helpless about the situation, I followed Padre Pio’s admonition: Pray, hope, don’t worry. Indeed, in April of 2013, nine years after my ordination, I received a call from my friend, Fr. Denis Ndang, informing me that he was preparing my mom for reception into the Catholic Church. It seemed like a dream to me.
When my mom made her decision to convert, she contacted my friend and requested the steps to join the Catholic church. She intended to keep this initial step a secret, but Fr. Ndang’s joy was palpable, and he took it upon himself to share the glad tidings with me. My mom later told me she was sure my friend would leak the secret because she marveled at his jubilation. When I next visited my mom, I joked with her, saying, Mama, I hear you want to become a reverend sister. She laughed out loud and said, “I knew your friend would tell you.” By God’s grace, my mom was received into the church on February 2, 2014. Since I was away for further studies, I could not attend, so I celebrated a Mass for her while the event was taking place at Holy Trinity Parish, Bota, Limbe. Truer words have not been written: “When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” (Is 60:22)
My mom’s conversion to Catholicism was the greatest gift she could give me, ten years into my priestly ministry. What joy I felt the first time she received the Eucharist from my hands, and what a testament to the power of prayer.
Converts on Fire
Experience has shown that most Catholic converts deeply cherish the Catholic faith. My mom is no exception. The desire for more knowledge, faithful devotion to religious practices, and commitment to the sacramental life are exceptional. My mom attended weekday Mass before her reception and has continued the practice thereafter. She joined the Catholic Women’s Association (CWA) and, upon her dedication, took the name Therese after St Therese of Lisieux, which she was very excited about. I recall her telling me that her new name was Comfort-Therese. Since becoming Catholic, her steady devotion to the faith has borne many fruits, and the following are some of her testimonies.
Eucharistic Healing
I am convinced of my mom’s childlike faith and trust in God, like that of her role model, St. Therese of Lisieux, as described in her biography. During one of Mom’s visits to the USA, she slid on ice and sustained a fracture on her left leg. A surgery was imminent, but she refused, requesting more time to reflect on it. Upon returning home, she continued to pray fervently for healing. One day during Mass, she poured her heart into asking for healing from Jesus in the Eucharist. She received Holy Communion, and the fracture pain disappeared after Mass. She called me with a lot of excitement to share her story. The Eucharist healed her. I recall her saying she received communion that day with expectant faith.
Our Lady of the Eucharist and Grace
My mom has suffered from severe glaucoma for most of her life, a hereditary condition, as my grandfather lost his eyesight from glaucoma in 1976 and remained blind for over three decades. At one point, following an eye examination in the USA, it was apparent that her situation had worsened. I shared my mom’s condition with a friend who has a special devotion to Our Lady of the Eucharist and Grace. She graciously agreed to share some anointing oil from the Shrine of Our Lady. My mom gladly received it, prayed, and asked for the Blessed Mother’s intercession before applying the oil to her eyes. When she returned to the hospital for her follow-up appointment, the ophthalmologist couldn’t believe the significant reduction in her eye pressure.
Lessons from my Mother’s Conversion to Catholicism
Indeed, parents and grandparents would love their families to be united in faith. We would also love for our children to be married to spouses who share the same religious values, but this is not always the case. Sometimes, our children defect from the faith, while others leave the church for good. As a priest, I would have loved my entire family to be Catholic, but that is not the case, even as I remain eternally grateful for my mom’s historic conversion. Given my family’s experience, I propose a few ways we can thrive spiritually despite our religious differences.
-Be respectful and cordial. If we find ourselves in a religiously diverse family, respecting each other’s religious beliefs is essential. Avoid being suspicious and making rash judgments against each other, even when you think what the other person is doing is “senseless.” None of us can rationalize the spirit of God at work in the church and the lives of individuals. Remember Jesus’s admonition to the disciples when they tried to stop someone from casting out demons in his name. He said anyone who is not against us is for us. (Mk 9:38-40) We are not enemies if we strive daily to promote the values of the Kingdom. Always be cordial and charitable, no matter how passionate one feels about challenging another’s religious practice.
-Focus on the good. Our differences in belief systems aside, there is so much goodness in each person and other Christian churches and religious belief systems. We can focus on a common prayer and scripture reading in a Christian pluralistic environment. By our baptism, we are brothers and sisters. In his Good Shepherd sermon, Jesus says other sheep do not belong to this flock, but they also hear his voice because, in the end, there will be one flock and one shepherd. (Jn 10:6)
-Avoid a self-righteous attitude. There is substantial evidence from Scripture and tradition that the Catholic church is the first Christian church founded by Christ. At Antioch, the disciples were first called Christians. (Acts 11:26) According to early Christian writings by St. Ignatius of Antioch, the third Bishop of Antioch who lived from AD 35 to 107, the Catholic church is the universal Christian assembly founded by Christ with Peter as the first Pope: “You are Peter, and on this rock, I will build my Church.” (Matt 16:18) This does not make the Catholic holier or better than their Christian counterpart. We must shun all forms of spiritual arrogance when speaking about our faith; instead, let us share our hope in Christ with those who may disagree with us with gentleness and respect. (1 Peter 3:15)
-Dialogue. Suppose parents who are devout Christians find out that a child has defected from the faith, especially from the traditional church, to a modern-day mega church. In that case, we must approach the situation cautiously, given that our adult children are responsible for their choices. If they are open to dialogue, speak with them and share your faith experience. You can also recommend some Catholic resources that might help them understand the richness of our faith. But every time a parent approached me to speak about a child who had left the church while in college, I would always remind them of the need to build a solid Christian foundation during their formative years. When we train the child in how he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Pr 22:6)
-Pray for one another. I resorted to praying for my mom’s conversion. I realized that I could not share the Eucharist with her. We should never underestimate the power of prayer if we seek the conversion of family members. Sometimes, these conversions occur after we are dead and gone, so our prayers are never in vain if we seek God’s will. St. Monica, the mother of St. Augustine of Hippo, prayed for over 30 years to convert her son, who eventually became a Bishop and a doctor of the church. She also prayed for the conversion of her husband. While we pray, we should also love as Christ loved. Our way of life, inspired by Christ’s teaching, is the most powerful witness to our neighbors. Pope Paul VI stated, “Modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers, it is because they witness.”
*Father Wilfred E. Emeh is a Roman Catholic Priest, Journalist, and social justice advocate. The article was also published in the May Issue of PAV Magazine
