December: Of Bush Fallers, Broken Relationships, Fake Marriages & Other Scams

By Andrew Nsoseka

.Seme Beach on the Atlantic coast of Cameroon is a major attraction.Photo credit Nkem Tourism
.Seme Beach on the Atlantic coast of Cameroon is a major attraction.Photo credit Nkem Tourism

It is the month of December in Africa, the period of the year when most Africans residing in foreign countries (bush fallers) do return to feast with family, friends, and, as well, catch some fun before returning to their host countries, mostly western nations, to hustle.

This is the month, when love stories go sour for some unfortunate lovers. During this period, those who traffic in love make sudden changes, reshuffling their love cabinets, and prioritising seasonal lovers to their ‘broke’ partners, often for quick monetary gains, or over fake love promises made to them by holiday-making ‘bush fallers’. This is the period when passion crimes often rear their ugly heads. This is the period when young beautiful women are shoved into fake marriages (usually traditional) by bush fallers, to enable them have the girls for about a month, for their sexual exploits, before disappearing into their ‘bush’.

This is the month that some unfortunate guys abhor, because, it is during this month that the love of their lives was either snatched from them, or dumped them for ‘appealing’ and seemingly well-to-do bush fallers riding in posh cars and feasting at every given opportunity.

However, this is also the month when passionate and hardworking guys return to meet the love of their lives, to commune in ways they have always dreamt of. It is the month of the good, the sweet, the bad, and the ugly love stories.

In this month of December, some traffickers in love will surreptitiously slip off for days in apparent visits to some ‘Aunt or Uncle’. Of course, they will end up in hotel rooms with some bush fallers, for quick gains or lofty promises. This is the time of the year, where easy girls make the most financial gains, accompanied by constant feasting.

It is not only so with male bush fallers. Their female counterparts also come back home to catch fun. Some of them come back home to have real banging by local gigolos or guys who are mostly not well to do.

This is also the month when some ‘free girls’ will sit down, and elaborately strategise on ways through which they will squeeze out as much money from lascivious bush fallers as possible. Time management plans will be developed, alongside schedules for visits to different towns where bush fallers are located.

With the covid-19 pandemic preventing many of the bush fallers from returning home, love-hawkers will have to re-strategize to make quick money from a different group of people, or from a different activity.

Some ‘area boys’, who wouldn’t want the spotlight to shift from them to bush fallers, are already piercing their ears, to put on earrings, alongside fake branded watches, and chains, which will make them look like bush fallers. As such, they too will draw a semblance of the attraction accorded to bush fallers by ready girls and other admirers. Such fellows sometimes take girls to hotel rooms, and escape as early as possible, and are never heard from again.

In this month of December in Africa, some holiday making returnees engage in cruel acts like carrying out convenience marriages that are never meant to last.

Once, yours truly accompanied a bush faller in Buea, Cameroon, he was a friend of a friend. We went and carried out traditional marriage rites of a girl he would later jilt. I remember how the girl beamed with delight and joy. Her parents wore proud faces of fulfilled African parents, proud that their daughter was married to a young, promising bush faller. About a year later, the bush faller returned again, and I was told he had married another girl and ditched the one I accompanied him to marry.

Such cases are many. While other carryout such reckless acts as payback to those girls who had ditched them at certain times, others do it for the fun of it; the most obnoxious of it being going to the extent of fake marriages, where families are involved.

It is disrespectful and callous to perform traditional rites, involving a woman’s family and her close friends, just for payback, or just to satisfy a lascivious appetite.

Meantime, there are free or ready girls around, who at this time of the year, roam the streets aimlessly just praying and waiting for an idle fellow to whistle for them, chat them up and take them out to booze and knock the hell out of each other in a hotel or wherever they wish. Such willing ones can be contracted. It is less sacrilegious, than to jilt a woman willing to settle for a responsible life.

Merry Christmas!

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